Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Random, totally pointless observations... because I have nothing better to do

OK, so people who have known me know that I've changed cities, homes, schools, prisons... quite a lot. And we... I mean, my family and I... are pretty good at dealing with the whole process. Infact, we probably would have been Darwin's favourite specie for studying adaptability. Although, this time around the change hasn't been as good for me, mainly because I've moved from Bombay (...a city I lurrrrveeee!) all the way down (...literally, or rather geographically) to Chennai, and there's no school, or college, or office (for now...) to keep me busy. Which also sort of explains the frequent posting. And I wanna take my bags and get the hell out of here would like to think I'm coping with this place rather well.

 Like most new places, this city has it's own quirks.  Of course there's the whole craze for Kollywood movies (...some of which are pretty entertaining, by the way... no, seriously). But, apart from that... this place has a few characteristics of it's own...

Firstly :    People here love their temples. And by love, I mean are compulsively obsessed, in a weird, ungodly (...forgive the irony) way. I mean, OK I'm not exactly a "God person" (which probably indicates I'll go to hell, never attain salvation and be reborn as a dung beetle...) but I do respect people's beliefs and their religion. Here however, people go to temples on weekends the way every other person goes on holiday trips to hill stations, beaches or resorts. And there are thousands of pujas, festivals and religious occasions (...most of which I can't pronounce or understand).

Secondly :    There are no high- rise buildings. Alright, maybe a few having eight storeys, but those are the very rare, very new ones. My head's probably gonna spin the day I return to my 12th floor pigeon hole apartment in Bombay. Here, most normal Bombay high- rises would probably be looked upon as people (in other parts) look at the Petronas Towers (...or the Burj, since that's the new, in thing).

Thirdly :    Men on the streets here aren't the most civilised of people. I mean, it's a different thing if guys are checking out girls (...after all, we do it too) or give an appreciative glance (...hell, that's even an ego boost). No, men here stare. And by staring I mean the eyes-popping-out-of-their-sockets, I-can-see-right-through-you-with-my-superhuman-X-ray-vision sort of stare. They give ogling a whole new definition. And if you are a 'North Indian' (...which means anything above the southern peninsula) and are slightly fair, even the women stare (as if the men weren't disturbing enough), sometimes so hard that you feel that they are gonna burn you like an ant under a magnifying glass. Which brings me to my next point...

Fourthly (yes it's a tad bit long... bear with me) :    What's with the whole complexion thing anyways?! It's like racism in reverse. The other day my dad's assistant visited our place, and actually praised me by saying, "Oh, she's so fair!" (yikes...) And to top it all, she was surprised that 'north Indians' like R. Madhavan, 'cause apparently he's too dark to be liked. DUH!!!!!! I love Madhavan.. loved him since I was like in 5th grade (anyone seen 'Ghar Jamai'?? Just me?? Oh, Ok)... he was never too dark for me,...  hell, he's not even dark!!!

  (Dear Madhavan...if you ever read this... which is highly unlikely... please know that I find you "oh, so cute", and since we now live in the same city, we can even meet up! *talk about high hopes*).

 Anyways, so what is the big deal with fairness?! And for clarification's sake, I'm not even fair... my complexion is more like an over- cooked chapati (minus the dark spots... for complete lack of a better comparison). Why is fair lovely?? (Pathetic attempt at puns, I know...)  I thought Hale Berry, Naomi Campbell, Tyra Banks et al were considered hot and classy. And Will Smith's like shit, sooooo freaking awesome!! And don't give me the 'in my shoes' or some other such idiom (it is an idiom, right?... or a proverb?...or a phrase? Why do I care?)... a person is dark, so what? . Deal with it... fairness creams don't work and an absurd inferiority complex will not help... besides, what happened to the "it's the attitude that counts" thought? Unless of course, if you want to go the Michael Jackson way (... rest in peace) and opt for the complete plastic surgery, de- pigmentation...whatever, whatever thingy... which needs affordability ( i.e. lot's of money to waste), guts (LOTS of it)  and absurd reasoning (to want such a procedure). Anyways, this actually seems to be the case with the entire country I guess. (Dear SRK... you were such a cool celeb... and then you endorsed a fairness cream :| )

Fifthly (last one...promise!) :  Now, I believe in simple living and high thinking (though I actually don't have high thoughts...) but every person needs to follow certain etiquettes being a part of society which (how much ever you may want to) one cannot denounce. And one of  those unspoken codes of conduct is... you do not adjust your lungi on the street. Neither do you convert it into a mini skirt in public. Period.

(Courtesy Google, and if you are the guy in the photo... behave!)

*** End of list***
 ( a silent sigh of relief rushes over the crowd... Wait, what crowd? Hardly 3 people read this thing)

  • PS : Just because I live in Chennai does not mean I survive on idlis and dosas. It's a metropolitan, not a tribal village (??!!) You get awesome food in this place (my weight stands testimony...)
  • PPS : Stop asking me if I've learned any Tamil (oh sorry, Tamizh)... it's only been like a month and a half since I moved here, for heaven's sake! And it's a very, very complicated language. And I have figured that my linguistic skills aren't great either... 8 years in Bombay, and I like know 3 words in Marathi. And it's a major surprise that I can speak any Bengali... my kids are probably gonna learn some weird, hybrid language as their mother tongue... yes, I have issues.
  • PPPS : No, I have not met A.R Rahman. So, like what if we are in the same city?! His guards will probably shoot me anyways, thinking of me as a potential stalker if I like try to barge in his house. Besides, John Abraham and I have been in the same city for years, did we ever meet...erm, NO! :(
  • PPPPS : I miss Mumbai Mirror!!!!! And Bombay Times!!!! And hindi FM stations!!!! (OK, I barely listened to FM... but I still miss it!!!!)
Cheers!! :)


Ramchandra said...

Fantastic :D
1.i watched Ghar Jamai.
2.The lungi thing was :D
3.It wasn't long.I'd have read it even if it were longer.I couldn't stop smiling.

Krittika... said...

thank u!! :)... and great to kno that somebody else watched Ghar Jamai too...it was the best thing since Hum Paanch :P :)

chefspeaks said...

Haha! I agree with Ramu,I'd still have read it if it were longer! haha the lungi one is soo true!! =D

Krittika... said...

thanks! and the lungi thing is fun only when u don't have to see it